Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
