Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
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day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly