Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
