You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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