Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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