hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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