Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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