Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
