You're a womanizer and a bitch.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
