I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
