Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
