you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
