I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
