It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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