it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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