is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
