i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
