thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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