i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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