What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
