I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We need to get me chipped asap
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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