He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
