well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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