are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
