I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
