this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
