you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
They left me at home... I'm a liability
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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