There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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