i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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