Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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