I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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