If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
