It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
