Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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