Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
