it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
