like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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