Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
