he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
