Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's just like the Real World with babies
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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