direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sext me about skeletons
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
