It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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