Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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