I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
