He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
