i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
