WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
