I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
