Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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