Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
