Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize