The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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