the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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