I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
