Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
