he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
