i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
